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Will You Come to My Party?

Writer's picture: Dr ClarkDr Clark

I have decided that self-pity does not look good on me. I don’t wear it well; it’s not flattering. It doesn’t benefit me in any way to feel sorry for myself. It actually makes me feel worse and makes people want to avoid me.


I looked up Bible references for the term self-pity and could not find any. But I did find the closely associated concepts of self-centeredness and self-seeking and selfish ambition. None of these references were positive. Some were downright scathing.


I found the Bible story of Elijah feeling sorry for himself. God met him there and helped him get over his pity party. I found another story where David is whining because no one acknowledged him or cared for him (Psalm 142:4). Maybe or maybe not true but nonetheless not attractive to those around him. He, too, turned to the Lord, and God helped him out of his self-pity.


Unmet expectations can give birth to self-pity. Being treated wrongly or feeling justified or validated in a dismissed position can also give birth to self-pity. (Incidentally, I have also decided that possessing a strong opinion usually does not look good on me.) A sense of injustice will justify my self-talk of being victimized and will grow into an offense. None of these look good on me; none of these are healthy for me.


I, like David, turned to the Lord, and He helped me out of my pity party. Now I can move forward. Now people will enjoy being around me! And, I am actually the happiest when I am looking out for the benefit of others before myself.



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